and then there were two

Such a busy few weeks.

As I mentioned in my last post we returned to Cheltenham last weekend. This year we only managed 13th (although in a higher section) but I was pleased that being back somewhere which had such strong associations to chemo didn’t mess with my head..

Last Wednesday my eldest returned to uni ….

Saturday the youngest’s boyfriend moved to his uni house …

yesterday my baby went to uni for her first year.

For the first time in nearly 21 years there are just the two of us in the house.

Three years ago today however was my first chemo session. My appointment was for 2pm so we agreed that the kids would go for coffee after school choir and we would pick them up around 5pm. How naïve were we! Still in the waiting room at 4 my husband sent them a message “Delayed at hospital, get the bus to N”. He didn’t bother to tell them that as at that point nothing had been done so they of course started to panic.

By the time they tried to get a canula in me for the FEC I was in pieces – more worried about my kids than what was going to happen to me. I nearly decided against the cold cap as I was worried that it would delay my already delayed treatment but was persuaded to go with it.

We had tickets for a concert that night but I had decided not to go, not knowing how I would react to the drugs. Once the treatment was eventually over we dashed home and husband went straight back out to meet the kids at the theatre. By then my youngest was completely distraught. Luckily some members of our band were also at the concert and I shall be forever grateful to them for looking after the kids.

So there I was, at home, on my own, after just having had my first chemo. Luckily no immediate side affects although took some anti-sickness medication before bed.

So now rather than my daughter worrying about me it is how it should be, me worrying about her. Hope she made it to her 9 am this morning!

Haunted by Memories

 

2018 03 11_Liz_1753So I got a message from the hospital to attend my chemo briefing on 22nd. This meant I was free and able to go to the National Brass Band Championships in Cheltenham the weekend before. It’s a bit earlier this year (yes we have qualified again, this time in the 2nd section) – this weekend. I am very nervous as to how I am going to cope with returning to the same venue.

Last time it was very emotional as we didn’t know what was going to happen with the chemo, how I would feel/react, whether it would be my last time playing for a few months. After we played our conductor thanked me for being there to play (albeit a small part) and at this point tears were shed by quite a few people in the band – in fact I am welling up typing this.

This year rather than playing a small part I am playing what, in some bands, will probably be covered by 2 or even 3 people. I find it quite physically and mentally demanding. My son is helping out on percussion (he is normally a horn player) and I have told him my fears so hopefully he will keep it together and give me the hug I am sure I am going to need after playing.

Here’s hoping for good memories to replace the bad.

On an exciting note I have just bought a drum kit! We pick it up at the weekend after the contest. I am also on the count down for having the house back. I currently have my son, daughter and her boyfriend in the house – along with all their uni stuff. The boyfriend now has his uni house and is starting to move out, my son has had confirmation that he is returning and will be off next week and my daughter the week after. Peace and quiet will return – apart from the drums!untitled